The Giant Panda (thegiantpanda) wrote,
The Giant Panda
thegiantpanda

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Musings on Romance - with your host, The Giant Panda

SO, LING-LING.

THEY TELL ME SHE IS GOING TO HELP ME MAKE BABY PANDAS. BUT I'M NOT GETTING ANY HELP HERE

I TRIED TAKING HER OUT TO EAT BUT SHE WOULDN'T TALK TO ME ALL THE WAY HOME FROM THE RESTAURANT
SHE SAID I MADE A SCENE

SHE WOULDNT EVEN SQUINCH OVER SO I COULD FIT IN THE BACKSEAT OF THE TAXI WITH HER.

I HAD TO SIT IN THE FRONT WITH THE CABBIE.

I GETS NO LOVE. WHY?
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Hey, Panda... Did you hear that SUSAN SONTAG was spotted at the FISCHERSPOONER record release party? My, my.
Oh my God. That is terrible. Have you and the ling-ling tried prayer? Remember, the couple that prays together, eats together, and the couple that eats together, well, you know...enjoy the conjugal success.

I wish you best of luck. When are we going to the Legal Seafoods? Perhaps the popcorn shrimp put ling ling in the mood.
I THINK THAT WE ARE BUDDHIST
AT YOUR ADVISING I ASKED THE ZOOKEEPER TO BRING IN A BUDDHIST MINISTER TO PRAY WITH US
SO THAT WE COULD ENJOY THE CONJURING SUCCESS
HE WOULD NOT CONJURE ANYTHING WITH US SO WE JUST ATE SOME BAMBOO
AND THEN RUBBED OUR BUTTS AGAINST A TREE

I'M ALL OUT OF FAITH
THIS IS HOW I FEEL
You know, I saw some pandas trying to mate on TV today, and it's not looking good for you guys. This one panda was rubbing his butt against a tree for ages, and his girlfriend just sat there eating. Maybe a picnic would be as good idea?